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Title Choker
Author norwie2010
Rating Mature
Prompt when you crawled squawking into the world (Blowing out candles)
Words 380
Setting b6

 The scarf touched his fingers, soft and strong at the same time. Doing what he commanded it to do, yet separate, a thing of its own. It reminded him of Dru, and the madness of the situation certainly came close to that of his dark haired salvation, his dark haired damnation. His creator and destroyer. The woman with him now was different. Not dark, but searing, blinding, lightning. Hurting his eyes when he looks at her, bringing him pain when she looks at him.
 There were the three of them here, now. The woman in his head, the woman under him and he with his hands on the scarf around her neck.
 He tightened the silken band, her skin whitening under the pressure while her face reddened. He was a tactile being, he knew very well how much pressure he exerted. Had to exert.  Had exerted, back then. Just a bit more, and the veins would start to fall in. He heard the popping of blood vessels, the tearing of skin, the crushing of her windpipe. Just a bit more, and it would be like always. Like he wanted, then. Wanted now, even. Drusilla cackled. Buffy moaned. Spike grinned. Sweat pearled on her skin, mingling with her juices down there. He had an inkling why she needed it, the drowning in darkness. Enhancing her pleasure, her pain. Crawling out of her grave in ecstasy all over again. Crawling back into the grave, crawling all over. Him. Her. Heaven. Hell.

 She was almost there, he felt it through the fabric, smelled it around him, saw. Her eyes glossing over, he detected what his hands had worked for.
 He could give her this. Wanted to, even. Sometimes wanted to pull the scarf tighter and tighter. She wanted it, too, he was sure of it.
In that moment he hated himself. Hated being a vampire more than anything. If... if he were only...  not, not what Drusilla made him. If he were like before. If he had working lungs, a windpipe, the need to breathe - then, then he would be able to be with her. In this moment, when she was further away than ever, he could be here, could be truly with her, choking with her, sharing, dying in bliss.


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 12th, 2011 07:33 am (UTC)
Wow, this was - well, quite spooky, but very well done! I like the way it stretches the S6 dynamic to its extremes, because of course Spike is exactly the right person with this sort of kink, but it inevitably brings up the reason why he knows exactly where the edge between life and death is, and it perfectly emphasises the difference between them. Nice.
Jun. 12th, 2011 10:37 am (UTC)
Thank you for the feedback. Yes! That's exactly what i wanted to get at. I'm glad it works (first try at creative writing in fifteen years...).
Jun. 12th, 2011 12:32 pm (UTC)
Reading this gave me shivers. You just crawled right into Spike's head, and wow...

Packs quite a punch :)

Jun. 12th, 2011 12:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
It's what i tried: crawling into Spike's head space.
(But what does that say about me, that I'm able to crawl into Spike's head in the first place? Damn, i need a "Spike's head" icon ;-)).
Jun. 12th, 2011 01:00 pm (UTC)
But what does that say about me

That you're very clever, because crawling around in there produces the above, and the above is rather brilliant.

Jun. 12th, 2011 09:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Actually, half the cleverness at least was my wonderful beta (who remains an enigma at this date).
Jun. 12th, 2011 05:23 pm (UTC)
Damn, that was dark. Creepy and brilliant. There are flashes of Ai no korida in your story.
Jun. 12th, 2011 08:57 pm (UTC)
Creepy and brilliant.

Oh thank you! That's - *blushes* thank you. :)

Definitely Ai no corrida in there - when i saw that film at the poor, innocent age of eighteen it disturbed me greatly and has certainly influenced my view on passion, sex and death. Afterwards, i started reading all the French authors who wrote about the deviant, dark and sublimated aspects of passion. It is no wonder that Buffy'n'Spike season 6 fascinates me the way it does.
Let's be grateful that Mutant Enemy didn't go there. ;-)
Jun. 12th, 2011 09:26 pm (UTC)
Wow, that was very creepy indeed. This was done very well.
Jun. 12th, 2011 09:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
If you're creeped out my work here is done.
Jun. 12th, 2011 10:24 pm (UTC)
Now that was dark!

Gorgeous writing, you really show how fucked up they are at this point. I like!
Jun. 13th, 2011 01:38 am (UTC)
Thanks for reading. Glad you liked. :) (And yes, they are really fucked up. Ok, so i cheated a bit by getting into Buffy's motivation, too. Let's just pretend that Spike knew. ;-)
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 15th, 2011 12:25 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading, glad you like! :)
Jun. 15th, 2011 12:51 pm (UTC)
Oh, very dark!
Jun. 15th, 2011 05:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading. :)
I hope you like the way the darkness coils.
Jun. 15th, 2011 07:10 pm (UTC)
I love how you're showing the dual nature of his relationship with Buffy: what he wants, and what he once wanted; how Drusilla's still with him though he's ostensibly moved on.
Jun. 16th, 2011 10:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading (and loving!). :)

Great that you see this. I tried to stuff so many things into these few sentences that i wasn't sure it was transported well. I'm glad that i (at least partially) succeeded (and now i have to write a certain back-alley-behind-a-police-station-from-Spike's POV and pull it off again...;).
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )


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