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Lacrimosa's Book: Rat's Tail

The Halloween challenge may be over, darlings, but there are still a few prompts left in the books to fill. So while I've been in my bunker hiding from the dragon I've written a little something for one of Lacrimosa's last three prompts (because I am nice like that).

Setting: Post-series
Rating: PG
For the prompt: Rat's tail from The Way of the Shadow.
500 words.
One half of a telephone conversation.

A Rat's Tale, or Delusions of Grandeur

"How did you get this number?"

"Oh, right. Well, you can't be too careful. Yeah, this is Willy. What can I do for you?"

"Sunnydale, huh? Been a while since that name came up. Yeah, I had a bar there once. Nice place. Very exclusive. But I sold the business and got out before everything went kaboom!"

"Let's just say, I heard rumours, okay?"

"So it's the Slayer you're interested in? That's Slayers plural nowadays, right? Yeah, I knew Buffy Summers. She was a...a customer of mine. We were very close."

"How did I meet her? Interesting story, actually. Very romantic. I introduced her to the guy she's married to, as a matter of fact. You know, Spike?"

"Well, technically, they'd met each other before, yeah. But those times don't count, cuz, okay, she'd met him, but until I came along, she didn't really notice him. He was just another vamp in a long line of vamps that needed killing."

"Okay, sure, they were both involved with other people at the time - her with Angel - hooboy!melodrama! - him with Drusilla - that's one creepy chick! - but that's the whole point, see? Both of 'em were doing what they had to do to save their respective honeys, and it ended up bringing them together."

"I'm saying they had a lot in common, even back then."

"Okay, it was raging hatred, but so what? It's a thin line, right?"

"Sure it was down to me. Another Slayer - very hot, weird accent-had locked Angel in a cage, right? Well, if I'd just let him go instead of handing him over to Spike, no way the Slayer would have gotten so mad she'd have sworn she wouldn't rest until she'd hunted Spike down like a dog and introduced him to the pointy end of a stake."

"Well, maybe those weren't her exact words. Can't a guy use a little poetic licence?"

"Do you want me to tell the story or not?"

"Okay, then. So, the Slayer was mad, right? She went after Spike with all guns blazing. And the consequence of that was, Spike ended up in a wheelchair. And the consequence of that was that Angel lost his soul and moved in on Drusilla. And the consequence of that was that Spike allied himself with the Slayer. And the rest is history."

"If you're gonna quibble...."

"Look, kid, if you hang around demons enough, you learn a few things, like that there's fate and there's destiny, and both of them are stone bitches. Spike and Buffy were meant to be, in my opinion. But sure there was gonna be bad stuff along the way. Pain, suffering. That's how those bitches roll."

"No, I didn't know it at the time. What do you think I am, psychic? But if not for me, none of it would have happened."

"I'm telling the one hundred per cent truth. Ask the Slayer if you don't believe me."

"No, I don't have her number."


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 29th, 2013 02:56 pm (UTC)
He always had a talent for bending the truth, didn't he?

I love this. Willy is so perfect here, I can hear it all.

Wonderful stuff!
Oct. 29th, 2013 03:02 pm (UTC)
He always had a talent for bending the truth, didn't he?

I hate to speak ill of anyone, but you're so right, darling.
Oct. 29th, 2013 03:05 pm (UTC)
Why d'ya think I went for bending and not breaking?

No ill speaking, just the truth.
Oct. 29th, 2013 03:23 pm (UTC)
No ill speaking, just the truth.

Oct. 29th, 2013 04:42 pm (UTC)
What a kick! Gotta love shifty, slimy Willy!

Oct. 31st, 2013 02:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you, darling. :mwah:
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 31st, 2013 02:03 pm (UTC)
He is. I've always wondered why (inside the story) he was never seen again after Goodbye Iowa.
Oct. 29th, 2013 11:33 pm (UTC)
Haha! You got Willy's voice pretty perfectly!
Oct. 31st, 2013 02:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you, darling. :bows:
Oct. 30th, 2013 10:32 pm (UTC)
Aw, Willy! I always liked his character -- in fact Mike and I just mentioned that the other day when Riley was in his bar but the character wasn't around.

And ha! I have no trouble believing he'd cast himself in the center of the drama :D
Oct. 31st, 2013 02:04 pm (UTC)
in fact Mike and I just mentioned that the other day when Riley was in his bar but the character wasn't around.

Yeah, I'd have loved some in-story explanation for why he disappeared from view.
Nov. 1st, 2013 04:45 pm (UTC)
Willy is a survivor, above all things. NOT being in touch with the Slayer's family is probably better for his health, even if he did "introduce" them. Heh. It's always nice to the story from the outside, and this is a fun one.
Nov. 5th, 2013 11:31 am (UTC)
Thanks, love. I enjoyed writing this one too.
Nov. 8th, 2013 03:49 am (UTC)
Hee! I've always loved Willy-- such a great character, and fills a fun roles.

her with Angel - hooboy!melodrama!

Hee! I just rewatched season 3. SOOO much melodrama!

Genuinely enjoyed this one!
Nov. 8th, 2013 09:49 am (UTC)
Thank you, and yes season 3 is melodrama city.
Nov. 12th, 2013 02:52 am (UTC)
ROFL! I can just hear Willy saying, "hooboy!melodrama!"

This was fun.
Nov. 13th, 2013 03:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )


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