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Fic: Love Me, Love My Dog

Title: Love Me, Love My Dog
Author: Rebcake
Prompt: Very Beast Friends
Word count: 990
Rating: PG
Timeline: S2 Halloween — Ethan’s Costume Spell
Warning: S2, so Spike's with Dru
Characters: Spike, Lady!Buffy, Pirate!Larry, Soldier!Xander, Angel, Cordelia, Demon!Kids, Dru
Summary: Spike picks up a few things at Ethan’s Costume Shop, and is dragged by the collar into chaos.

Spike fingered the collar hanging in the shop. Made him a bit nostalgic, truth to tell. Those were good times, when Dru had kept him in collars and cuffs. Decorative, mostly. Didn’t often go that route anymore, but there was a chance that he’d get a giggle if he surprised her. He slipped the collar into his coat pocket along with a few other fancies before heading out into the autumn evening.

He’d check on Dru before going out to make use of the bit of mischief she had foreseen would weaken the Slayer tonight. He’d been studying the girl for weeks, and weakness wasn’t what she generally had on offer. He shook his head in admiration. Had to admit that a touch of Slayer kryptonite wouldn’t go amiss with this one.

Just outside the factory doors, he remembered to fasten the collar around his neck.

“Trick or treat,” he murmured, giving it a tug to check the tightness.

Then the world went gray.


He scratched at his ear with irritation and shook his head to clear it. Then he perked up. Something marvelous was out there, just beyond his senses. He sniffed up and down the alleyway a few times before catching the shadow of a scent. He took off at a run, howling with excitement.

He hurtled around a corner, scrambling to keep his footing, and collided with some trashcans. One toppled over, spilling out a cornucopia. He investigated, but a hissing cat distracted him, and he was off again at once. It scrambled over a wooden fence, taunting him. He barreled through the loose boards to the other side barking in triumph. Right away, he found a pile of boxes leading up to where the cat was cowering. Not so haughty, now, eh puss? He put one foot on the bottom box and growled at the cat, who began licking itself as if to say, “Whatever.” Bloody Californians.

But, that remarkable something pulled again at the edge of his awareness. It was close. He circled until he got a bead. It was coming closer. He loped to meet it. There.

A girl. His girl. She was frightened. A foul-smelling lout was interfering with her, had his paws on her, was bending her over backward. He found his target — it was a wide one — and sank his fangs in deep. The ruffian straightened with a scream, swatting at him, but he clamped his jaws tighter and shook his head for good measure.

Then they were both sailing arse over teakettle. He jumped to his feet to see a panting youngster looking down at the unmoving evil man with satisfaction. His girl was sitting in a tangle of skirts, eyes wide. He trotted over to check that she was unhurt.

“Oh, you were so brave!” she cried, holding out her arms. He wriggled with joy and bounded into them, licking her hands, her neck, her tender cheek. It went a long way to getting the awful taste of hooligan out of his mouth. She stroked him all over, scratching him in the places he liked.

“Someone you know?” asked the young man.

“He grew up on my father’s estate,” she said, ruffling his ears. His tongue lolled happily.

A large man and a woman came running up. He was pretty sure he didn’t like this fellow.

“We’ve got to get some cover,” said the man.

The great oaf scooped up his girl without any preliminaries and took off down the alley. The others followed. He could smell that she was frightened again. He lunged for the bloke’s leg and got a mouthful of his pant leg and boot. The hulking brute just kept moving. He growled but hung on and was dragged along the alleyway.

The group ducked into an old building. The big guy finally put his girl down so he let go of his boot. She cringed away, trying to huddle with the woman, who shook her off.

“Faboo. More clinging,” the woman complained. He might not like this one, either.

While the others piled things in front of the door, he did his best to comfort his girl. He herded her toward a crate so that she could sit, jumping up to settle next to her. He lowered his head into her lap, snuffling with satisfaction. This was his place, surrounded by her scent and at her service. She calmed a little, but he stayed vigilant. His eyes darted between her face and the doorway where the others defended against the shouting and pounding coming from outside. She clung to his head, murmuring “good boy” until he was nearly overcome by the combination of her soothing voice, rhythmic caresses, and intoxicating perfume. His leg began to twitch.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and a crowd of little hellions burst through, screeching. The defenders fell back. He jumped down to do battle.

“I’ll protect you, Buffy!” cried the big one.

It was too much. He rolled his eyes and lifted his leg.

He felt the boot in his side and went sailing through the air. As he tumbled through the tiny attackers and out the doorway, everything shifted. He fetched up against the wall across the alley. A moment of eerie silence hung in the air. Then the Slayer’s voice rang from the building opposite.

“I can’t believe you kicked that poor dog, Angel!”

A tinny chorus of "I want my mama" started up inside. Spike headed for home, clutching his ribs.


He trudged up to the factory. His duster was in a heap near the door. He scooped it up and carried it inside.

“You’ve been a very bad doggie,” said Dru.

“Not helping, Dru.”

She looked him over and giggled. It was what he’d wanted, wasn’t it? To amuse Dru? Didn’t thrill him as much as the scent lingering in his nose and the flavor on his tongue.

Bloody buggering hell.


1. The germ of this story has been kicking around in my head since Barb made this post on daemons in Buffy. I’ve been hoping for an appropriate prompt to get it out of there. Thanks, mods! Thanks, Barb! I think...
2. Seeing Frankenweenie this weekend also contributed. Also every Spiketastic head tilt, tongue loll, and every “bad dog” Dru ever uttered.
3. Cordy’s dialogue taken from the BtVS episode Halloween by Carl Ellsworth.


( 47 comments — Leave a comment )
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Oct. 24th, 2012 01:32 am (UTC)
Bwaa-haa-haa!! That just made my day!

Of course I find myself wondering what breed of dog he was here. I'm picturing a terrier...
Oct. 24th, 2012 02:25 am (UTC)
Well, according to Barb, he'd be an English Bull Terrier, and I can't think of any reason why not. ;-)

Linky: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bull_Terrier

I especially like the photo of the breed circa 1915.

I'm glad you liked this bit of silliness!
(no subject) - zanthinegirl - Oct. 24th, 2012 02:45 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rebcake - Oct. 24th, 2012 03:44 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - readerjane - Oct. 24th, 2012 02:54 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rebcake - Oct. 24th, 2012 03:21 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - thisficklemob - Apr. 29th, 2013 12:11 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rebcake - Apr. 29th, 2013 05:00 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - thisficklemob - Apr. 29th, 2013 07:07 am (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 24th, 2012 02:52 am (UTC)
(Also every Spiketastic head tilt, tongue loll, and every “bad dog” Dru ever uttered.)

Mwa-ha-ha-haaa. And Spike doesn't even seem to notice while it's happening!

Too bad our pair have to be not-themselves to be easy with each other. But it's lovely to see, nevertheless.
Oct. 24th, 2012 03:20 am (UTC)
I figured nobody else under the spell knew anything was off, so why would Spike? And really, he's not that different. ;-)

Yes, spells seem to allow these two to let down their defenses enough to get to the sweet(er) insides. Something Blue, Tabula Rasa, anyone?
Oct. 24th, 2012 04:15 am (UTC)
Spike in a dog collar - yum! Doggie Spike - aw! Doggie Spike piddling on Angel - snort! And getting sympathy for it, even better.

Oct. 24th, 2012 04:37 am (UTC)
Mmmmmm. Collared Spike. Though, you know, he's a very bad dog. A vicious, slavering beast. Who just happens to be devoted to his girl. Not cute or adorable at all. *looks stern*
Oct. 24th, 2012 04:59 am (UTC)
Awesome. :-)
Oct. 24th, 2012 02:56 pm (UTC)
Heh. Thanks!
Oct. 24th, 2012 06:15 am (UTC)
“I’ll protect you, Buffy!” cried the big one.

It was too much. He rolled his eyes and lifted his leg.


Oct. 24th, 2012 02:57 pm (UTC)
It just had to be his last word on the subject, you know?

Thanks for commenting, sweetie!
Oct. 24th, 2012 06:19 am (UTC)
Hee! This is fab.
Oct. 24th, 2012 02:58 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Happy Halloween, modstress!
Oct. 24th, 2012 06:25 am (UTC)
Hee! Oh, very much enjoyed this one.
Oct. 24th, 2012 02:59 pm (UTC)
I've always adored Bad Dog Spike, so it was a real pleasure to make it literal!

Thanks for commenting, darlin'!
Oct. 24th, 2012 08:18 am (UTC)
Oh fantastic stuff. :D
Oct. 24th, 2012 03:01 pm (UTC)
I'm so pleased you like it! But then, what's not to like about a very bad dog Spike?
Oct. 24th, 2012 02:04 pm (UTC)
Fantastic!!!!! I loved every second of it. A truly original twist on an episode that's been twisted a gazillion times. Well, well done, sweetie! This one should become a classic.

. He rolled his eyes and lifted his leg. *snerk*

Didn’t thrill him as much as the scent lingering in his nose and the flavor on his tongue.

Bloody buggering hell.
You've got no idea, Spike. No idea!

Oct. 24th, 2012 03:04 pm (UTC)
A truly original twist on an episode that's been twisted a gazillion times.

Gosh. Are you trying to butter me up? 'Cos it's totally working! Thanks so much. "Classic", eh? *busts buttons*
Oct. 24th, 2012 02:33 pm (UTC)
Oct. 24th, 2012 03:06 pm (UTC)
Aww. Once again, blame credit goes to you for inspiration! Glad to get a grin.
Oct. 24th, 2012 04:05 pm (UTC)

*gasp for breath*


Let's face it, the opening line in your link really made me guess where this was going, feel a little trepidation, but I clicked anyway and it went right where I thought it would, but no need for trepedation at all, it was awesome with more awesome on top and heeeee omg. *snicker*
Oct. 24th, 2012 04:35 pm (UTC)
Heh. See, that's funny, because MiAmor read it without a few of the cues (title, summary, icon of Spike in choke chain) and was all, "You should say that it's a dog collar. I was confused." But I figured once those things were in I would be telegraphing everything to our very brilliant Buffyverse readership and that I should leave an itsy bit of ambiguity for spice. Naturally, you figured it out in about four words...

Anyway! Thanks so much for commenting, and I'm ecstatic to get so many yucks outta you! You should see my tail wagging!
(no subject) - hello_spikey - Oct. 24th, 2012 08:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rebcake - Oct. 24th, 2012 11:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 24th, 2012 07:07 pm (UTC)
Yay! Well busted.

:uses appropriate icon:
Oct. 24th, 2012 11:40 pm (UTC)
Heh. Thanks!
Oct. 24th, 2012 10:54 pm (UTC)
Hee hee hee! Good dog.
Oct. 24th, 2012 11:48 pm (UTC)
No, no! Lies and Untruths! He's a Bad Dog. *mutterings that sound like "not neutered yet, ta ever so"*

Hee! Thanks for commenting!
Oct. 25th, 2012 11:40 pm (UTC)
That was loads of fun. Spike is a good doggie!
Oct. 26th, 2012 01:46 am (UTC)
Spike is a good doggie!

Um, let's keep that between us, okay? He's rather sensitive on the subject.

Thanks for commenting!
Nov. 4th, 2012 09:06 am (UTC)
May I just say...I adore this with the fiery brilliance of a thousand suns. Hee!
Nov. 7th, 2012 08:00 am (UTC)
Aww, thanks so much, sweetie! I'm tickled pink that you enjoyed it. Lots of us have a soft spot for a bad doggie, I suspect.
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( 47 comments — Leave a comment )


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