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Hell on Wheels

Yay! I've managed to write something. In fact, I suspect a lot of people could see this coming.

Setting: BtVS season 5, an alternate Spiral
Rating: PG
For the prompt: What if Buffy had let Spike nick the Porsche for him, Buffy and Dawn in Spiral? Inevitable hi-jinks ensue.
250 words.

Hell on Wheels

"Look out!" Dawn wailed.

The oncoming truck's horn blared as the Porsche shot back into the right hand lane almost shaving its front bumper. The horn of the truck they'd been overtaking on a blind bend joined in the blaring - outraged trucker fury in surround-sound, chasing them through the dark.

Dawn peered through her fingers. "I wanna go home."

Buffy shook her head. "Uh-uh, no way. Glory knows you're the Key now. If she catches you, she'll kill you."

"We don't know that," Dawn insisted. "I mean, it's not like she actually said "I am so gonna kill the Key." Maybe she just wants to talk?"

Buffy gave Dawn an incredulous look. "That's nuts. Of course she wants to kill you."

"At this rate, she won't have to." Dawn covered her face again. "Eyes on the road! Eyes on the road!"


Just in time, they veered away from the kerb, with its vertiginous view of the sea far below.

"I was only doing ninety," Buffy protested. "Also, that precipice kind of snuck up on me. Who knew they could do that? Good thing I didn't let Spike drive, huh? Anything might've happened."

Dawn rolled her eyes. Turning, she glared at Spike, who was slumped in the back seat looking nauseous. "Why'd you have to go and steal a Porsche? I mean, what was wrong with a slow getaway vehicle - like a Winnebago, or...or a bicycle?"

Spike grimaced. "Sorry, 'Bit. Didn't count on the Slayer bein' hell on wheels."


( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 16th, 2012 03:42 pm (UTC)
Ha wonderful! Love the last line. :D
Jan. 16th, 2012 03:53 pm (UTC)
Poor old Buffy. I'm sure her driving isn't that bad really.
(no subject) - heldc - Jan. 16th, 2012 11:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - shapinglight - Jan. 17th, 2012 07:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 16th, 2012 04:03 pm (UTC)
Nice twist - I thought it was Spike driving ;)
Jan. 16th, 2012 04:55 pm (UTC)
:) That's what I hoped people would think. In fact, I've just edited it a bit to try and drag out the mystery a tiny bit longer.
Jan. 16th, 2012 04:45 pm (UTC)
Hee!! Poor old Buffy... *fears for the Porsche*
Jan. 16th, 2012 04:56 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it's probably not going to come out of this very well.

I've just edited it a bit, Quin, to try and draw out the suspense of who is driving a bit longer.
Jan. 16th, 2012 05:03 pm (UTC)
This was great. I especially enjoyed the image of a carsick Spike.
Jan. 17th, 2012 07:57 pm (UTC)
Serves him right for thinking he'd be driving. :)
Jan. 16th, 2012 05:49 pm (UTC)
ROFL - excellent use of the prompt.
Jan. 17th, 2012 07:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
Jan. 16th, 2012 08:19 pm (UTC)
Buffy and cars are not mixy. Oh adorable.
Jan. 17th, 2012 07:58 pm (UTC)
No, but you have to give her points for trying. :)
Jan. 16th, 2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
Hee! Oh lovely. Poor good guys; you should never let Buffy drive. It's the first rule of world saveage.
Jan. 17th, 2012 07:59 pm (UTC)
I think Spike possibly thought of saying something like that, but his nose told him better not. :)
Jan. 16th, 2012 09:22 pm (UTC)
Squee! Love it.
Jan. 17th, 2012 07:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
Jan. 17th, 2012 02:18 am (UTC)
Heehee! Wonderful! Fo! Buffy! Own that car! Own the world!
Jan. 17th, 2012 08:00 pm (UTC)
She's not going to let a little thing like her being a crap driver stop her. No way. :)
Jan. 17th, 2012 04:41 am (UTC)
"Eyes on the road! Eyes on the road!" Love this! Poor Dawnie. And I have to know how Buffy talked (pummeled?) Spike into letting her drive...
Jan. 17th, 2012 08:01 pm (UTC)
I think his nose probably told him it was best not to argue. :)
Jan. 17th, 2012 05:00 pm (UTC)

"Good thing I didn't let Spike drive"

Oh lord! I can just imagine.
Poor Spike and Dawn.
Yes, in hindsight, the Winnebego was the better choice!
Jan. 17th, 2012 08:01 pm (UTC)
Yes indeed. Can I just ask, do you think Dawn would say 'bicycle'? Is 'pushbike' more American?
(no subject) - hello_spikey - Jan. 17th, 2012 09:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - shapinglight - Jan. 17th, 2012 09:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 17th, 2012 06:17 pm (UTC)
Hee! Couldn't Spike and Dawn, together, convince Buffy that her and fast car are unmixy? :)
Jan. 17th, 2012 08:03 pm (UTC)
I think discretion was probably the better part of valour for Spike in this instance. He's too fond of his nose to argue. :)
Jan. 17th, 2012 08:30 pm (UTC)
Ooh, Buffy and driving are not mix-y things! I think they'd actually be safer with Dawn driving, whether she's ever been behind the wheel or not. *GG*
Jan. 17th, 2012 09:24 pm (UTC)
I think they'd be safer with almost anyone else driving. :)
Jan. 18th, 2012 03:15 am (UTC)
Heheh, I like the idea of Spike being nauseous in the back seat. Serves him right for giving in to the flash car :)
Jan. 18th, 2012 11:51 am (UTC)
I agree. That'll teach him. :)
Jan. 21st, 2012 09:07 am (UTC)
ROFL I love this!
Jan. 21st, 2012 09:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Glad you liked it. :)
( 34 comments — Leave a comment )


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