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First Dance

The current round of prompts have inspired another Wedding From Hellverse ficlet. Rejoice (or possibly take cover). For those of you who haven't the least clue what I'm talking about, The Wedding From Hellverse is a series of fics set in an increasingly AU (and bonkers) version of BtVS season 4, in which Buffy and Spike took the events of Something Blue to their logical conclusion (or one of them) and got married. Wackiness inevitably ensues.

Setting: BtVS season 4, the Wedding From Hellverse version
Rating: PG
Pairing: the obvious, plus mention of Xander/Anya
500 words.
Anya gets slightly the wrong end of the stick.
For the prompt: first dance, and imaginatively titled...

First Dance



Anya nibbled at her piece of wedding cake, frowned and set it down. She couldn't understand the attraction of burnt dried fruit herself, but it was traditional, and humans were big on tradition. Especially when it came to weddings.

Take this first dance business, for instance. Who knew that dusting a vampire during it was part of the ritual? The wedding etiquette books didn't mention it. Obviously, they needed updating.

There was a collective gasp from the guests. A chair sailed through the air and landed with a crash, to be followed by a body, and Spike's voice: "Stand still while my missis dusts you, tosser!"

Anya glanced sidelong at Xander, who was bouncing in his chair and sort of play-boxing the air in front of him.

"Go, Buf!" Xander muttered under his breath.

Anya rolled her eyes and turned back to the action, in time to see Buffy, whose wedding dress was looking more than a tad dishevelled, plant one dainty, slipper-clad foot in the unfortunate vampire's butt and kick him into the air like a soccer ball.

"Hey!" the vampire yelled, as he landed with a thud equidistant between Buffy and Spike. "Tag team slaying. No fair!"

"It's perfectly fair," Buffy snapped. "Besides, you started it, being all snarky. It's our first dance as a couple and you were spoiling it with your sniggering."

"Sure, I get that," the vampire whined. "But Wind Beneath My Wings? Seriously?"

"O-kay, that does it." Buffy's arm went up and came down again, and there was an explosion of choking dust.

Anya watched, frowning in concentration –she needed to get it right when her turn came -as Buffy set her hands on her hips and glared challengingly at the fangier members of the wedding party. "Anyone else wanna complain about my choice of music?"

Yellow eyes exchanged worried glances. There was a chorus of, "No way," and "No, ma'am, Slayer ma'am!" from all around the room.

"Well, good." Buffy snapped her fingers at the DJ to resume the music, and held out her hand to Spike. A moment later they were both pogo-ing – so Xander said it was called – to some sort of raucous howling about anarchy in Britain, which it seemed Spike had requested.

Anya wasn't sure she understood this part, but apparently marriage was all about compromise, or so people kept saying.

But before you could have a marriage, you had to have a wedding, and from the look of it, weddings were more complicated than she'd ever imagined.

Anya gave Xander a speculative glance – he looked very handsome in his tux, she was looking forward to some role-play when they had sex later, not to mention the real thing. Slipping a notebook and pencil out of her purse, she flipped to a page near the end headed Wedding, underlined heavily in black, and wrote: first dance accompanied by ritual vampire dusting.

Her list was getting longer, but then Buffy's wedding was going to be a hard act to follow.

Comments

( 32 comments — Leave a comment )
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hello_spikey
Jun. 2nd, 2011 03:43 pm (UTC)
aw!! I love it! Love Xander play-boxing and the compromise of two songs and, well, the inevitable vampire dusting as part of the wedding! tee!

If Anya is basing her wedding plans on Spike and Buffy... wow. "The Wedding From Hell 2" is going to be a fabulous sequel!
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:23 pm (UTC)
If Anya is basing her wedding plans on Spike and Buffy... wow. "The Wedding From Hell 2" is going to be a fabulous sequel!

It certainly will be if Anya gets her way. Which, let's face it, is pretty likely.
dorians_kitten
Jun. 2nd, 2011 04:07 pm (UTC)
I find myself picturing the moments in which Spike and Buffy agreed on the wedding song compromise. For example-do we think she knows the words to Anarchy in UK? I'd like to think that as he played her the song her nose wrinkled at the phrase I am an anti-Christ and that Spike then made up a British slang word that sounds like Anti-Christ but means something that a White-hat would feel better about and claimed that was the word she heard. I then see Buffy nodding and smiling and saying "Oh, that is nice!" Of course they were then having sex and forgot to return to the discussion at all. ;) Also, I think that while Giles is horrified by the whole wedding scenario, he gained new respect for Spike when the vampire convinced Buffy to include a Sex Pistols song in the wedding program and is wondering if Spike could help him convince Buffy to increase her training schedule and perhaps even try reading some of the most important watcher journals. That Giles...always has an angle. :)

Thanks for sharing the cuteness.
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:24 pm (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed it, and your scenario sounds pretty convincing, and may even lead to another ficlet. :)
brutti_ma_buoni
Jun. 2nd, 2011 04:33 pm (UTC)
rofl.

*Actual* rofl.

Anya's eyes are the perfect POV for this hellish affair.
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:25 pm (UTC)
:) I thought so. Glad you agree.
quinara
Jun. 2nd, 2011 04:49 pm (UTC)
Heeeeeee!
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:26 pm (UTC)
:) Gotta love a stupid wedding fic. Or, not gotta. bogwitch is exempt.
rebcake
Jun. 2nd, 2011 05:00 pm (UTC)
*flail* Both of those song choices are HUGE compromises for the other. I assume Spike tried to tell her she'd regret "Wind" later...but maybe he's a smarter vamp than we give him credit for and he used the leverage for his own ends.

Really though, there are a ton of hidden compromises right from the get-go. "Burnt dried fruit"? Vampire guests, not there entirely for the slayage/entertainment value? Anya is going to have a heckuva time sorting it all out!

Nice addition, sweetie! *hugs your 'verse*
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:28 pm (UTC)
I assume Spike tried to tell her she'd regret "Wind" later...but maybe he's a smarter vamp than we give him credit for and he used the leverage for his own ends.

I'm sure he did tell her that, but soon realised how wrong he was. :)

Vampire guests, not there entirely for the slayage/entertainment value?

Spike's side of the family.

Glad you liked it, love.
norwie2010
Jun. 2nd, 2011 06:07 pm (UTC)
1. Wind beneath...
2. Anarchy...
3. That marriage will never get boring. :D

Thanks for another installment of this adorable, erm, Hellverse. :)
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:28 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it. :)
louise39
Jun. 2nd, 2011 06:39 pm (UTC)
From what we know of the 'Wedding From Hell-verse' vampire dusting would certainly fit!!

Love Anya's pov and her notebook for 'wedding' ideas.
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:29 pm (UTC)
Love Anya's pov and her notebook for 'wedding' ideas

She likes to be prepared. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for reading.
thisficklemob
Jun. 2nd, 2011 06:51 pm (UTC)
Anya watched, frowning in concentration –she needed to get it right when her turn came -as Buffy set her hands on her hips and glared challengingly at the fangier members of the wedding party.

This made me giggle like a loon. Xander is in for quite a trip in this 'verse when if and when their wedding rolls around. I can see Anya asking him where they're going to get a dustable vampire (Buffy would become very unreasonable if she tried to use Spike for the purpose), and Xander's befuddlement.

Love that they actually invited the complaining vampire, and had vampires in the wedding party.

And, awww. Buffy pogoes with Spike to the Sex Pistols. It's true love. <3 <3 <3
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:31 pm (UTC)
Xander is in for quite a trip in this 'verse when if and when their wedding rolls around.

Yes, and the poor bloke hasn't a clue. He's in a bit of a shock, I think.

Love that they actually invited the complaining vampire, and had vampires in the wedding party.

Spike's side of the family. Not that he likes any of them, but still....

Buffy pogoes with Spike to the Sex Pistols. It's true love. <3 <3 <3

:)
rahirah
Jun. 2nd, 2011 07:04 pm (UTC)
Don't worry, Anya. Your wedding-fu is strong. *g*
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:31 pm (UTC)
She'll get it sorted, I'm sure. Poor old Xander won't know what's hit him.
slaymesoftly
Jun. 2nd, 2011 09:10 pm (UTC)
ROFLMAO - another wonderful glimpse at how very wrong things can go. :)
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you. They're so wrong they're right, I suppose. :) Thanks for reading.
anviloverheaven
Jun. 2nd, 2011 11:47 pm (UTC)
*is rejoicing*

I am full of absolute love for this 'verse. :)

shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm quite fond of it too. :)
revdorothyl
Jun. 3rd, 2011 01:26 am (UTC)
I adore Anya's determination to get all these strange human wedding rituals down exactly right, including the newer variations and additions, such as the ritual vampire dusting and death threats against anyone who makes derogatory remarks during the first dance.
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:34 pm (UTC)
Well, she's a perfectionist. :) Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it.
zanthinegirl
Jun. 3rd, 2011 04:59 am (UTC)
I just love the heck out of these stories! And Anya is too adorable; you really captured her early season 4 wackyness beautifully!
shapinglight
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I do love Anya, and she's about the only character in the 'verse who would take this whole crazy scenario in her stride.
moscow_watcher
Jun. 3rd, 2011 05:16 pm (UTC)
Absolutely delicious!
Poor snya following in Buffy and Spike's footsteps will be hard...
shapinglight
Jun. 4th, 2011 03:19 pm (UTC)
It will, but she's a very determined person. She'll manage. :)
sueworld2003
Jun. 3rd, 2011 05:18 pm (UTC)
Thats was wonderful. Trust Anya to demand to keep up to date with 'traditional' Wedding etiquette. :D
shapinglight
Jun. 4th, 2011 03:20 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Sue. Glad you enjoyed it.
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