?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Ficlet: Foxy Ladies

Title: Foxy Ladies
Author: Rebcake
Rating: PG13
Word count: 650
Prompt: Outfoxed
Summary: Spike and Buffy go out on the town in San Francisco, at a drag bar.

Buffy felt pretty fly in her shiny gold pants and strappy sandals. A gauzy top floated around her hips as she danced. Spike looked good, too. He'd made a small concession to date night, and was wearing a shirt with just enough buttons undone to make her want to undo all the rest. Yum. Also, she was pretty sure he had on eyeliner. Add all that to the fact that he was actually dancing with her — and not just the slow dances, either — and she had to admit he was pretty much the perfect man.

Then the drag queens stepped onto the dance floor. Glittering and absolutely perfect from their glossy bewigged heads to their perfectly pedicured toes. Each one was approximately 2 feet taller than Buffy, partly because of the shoes that made her dizzy to look at. And they had moves, all slim hips and eloquent gestures. Buffy sighed. The perfect woman was probably a man, too.

Spike was not as distracted by the beautiful queens, so he was the first to notice the vamp. He tapped Buffy and jerked his head toward the creature, prowling the perimeter, looking at the dancers like the predator it was. But beautiful. Tall, shaved head, leather jumpsuit, tasteful ink. Very chic.

Buffy headed over and stopped in front of the vampire, hands on hips. She could feel Spike just behind her, to the left.

“I've got a bone to pick with you,” she shouted over the music.

The vamp looked at her with mild interest, and then at Spike, who got the full once over. Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Hey! Down here.”

The vamp dragged its eyes back to Buffy and managed to look thoroughly bored. Buffy grabbed it by its elbow and firmly marched it out the exit and into the alley. It didn't run, just pointedly adjusted the sleeve Buffy had been holding.

She and Spike faced it and crossed their arms.

“The owner tells me you're not playing by the rules.”

“Yeah, I'm a rebel,” drawled the vamp, its tone musical. Spike growled.

“Yeah, well, that makes you my problem. I've got enough problems,” said Buffy.

“So I see. Maybe I can help you out with that,” said the vamp, looking at Spike again.

“Look. I'm being more than fair here. Harmony, of all people, has laid out the guidelines for peaceful coexistence between...” she pointed at jumpsuit vamp, "vamp...” she jerked her thumb back at the club, “human...“ she pointed at herself, "and slayer. You're obviously not a zompire, so why not just get with the program?”

“Honey, my whole existence has been about not doing what everybody tells me to. What makes you think I'd listen to that little...blonde...suburban...dingdong?” It waved its forefinger with its long, glittery nail from side to side with every pause.

Ouch. Buffy narrowed her gaze and scowled. “She's your queen, right?”

“Her? Vampire Queen? Ha! I'm the real Vampire Queen!” It paused. “Her hair is good, though.”

“Well, okay, that's fine. But if you're going to keep chowing down on the humans, you're going to be an ex-vampire, PDQ. You got me?”

“Sure, Barbie. I got you.”

The vamp lunged for Buffy's throat, and met with one of her uppercuts instead. Its arms pinwheeled as it staggered back, which had an interesting effect when Buffy kicked it onto the stake Spike held before him. The dust whirled around in a way that was sort of ... flamboyant.

Buffy sagged.

“I thought that one might have been reachable, you know?”

“Liked her outfit, did you?”

“Yeah,” she admitted.

“She was still a nasty bloodsucker.”

She nodded.

He looked at her and hesitated before speaking.

“Buffy, these...ladies 'round these parts,” he started. “They're quite...something. Point is, they've got nothing on you. You'll always be my queen.”

She thought about it and smiled. They went back in and danced until last call.

FIN

AN: Having gone (twice!) to the absolutely wonderful drag version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Live! last month, I felt that our local girls should get some appreciation!

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
chasingdemons
Nov. 1st, 2016 08:47 pm (UTC)
Hee! Great imagery! I would just love to see Spike and Buffy dancing. And it seems Harmony has made her place in the world.
rebcake
Nov. 1st, 2016 09:39 pm (UTC)
What the comics have done with Harmony is one thing I approve of. First, Clem is her right-hand demon. Then, she was on "Dancing With the Stars". She carries around a couple of pomeranians as accessories. Then, after becoming Queen of the Vampires™, she ended up bringing unicorns into the world! (She was trying to do a lot of other not-great stuff, but Clem edited it down to the essentials.) Her code seems to consist of only feeding from wiling victims and leaving them alive, I guess. Buffy doesn't like it, but it's better than the alternative...
chasingdemons
Nov. 1st, 2016 09:51 pm (UTC)
Huh. I am going to have to read the comics one of these days!
rebcake
Nov. 1st, 2016 09:59 pm (UTC)
I don't know if I'd go that far... There is a lot that is really, really bad.

Maybe somebody ought to put together a "good parts" version. Of course, people disagree about what is a "good part". I personally liked the steampunk spaceship that Spike piloted, with a crew of adorning 5-ft cockroaches, but some people hated it...
slaymesoftly
Nov. 2nd, 2016 07:06 pm (UTC)
I like the spaceship and the bugs! Although I'm not crazy about Queen Harmony.... to each her own, I guess. :)
rebcake
Nov. 3rd, 2016 12:09 am (UTC)
Exactly! There are some things that I liked that other people hated, and things that I hated that didn't bother other readers at all. Which just goes to show that maybe it's not as skewed as we all thought.
thenewbuzwuzz
Nov. 2nd, 2016 04:42 am (UTC)
Squee!
Those drag queens sound intimidating to behold (because they're better at presenting as female than I am). But good on them!
I like that Buffy doesn't stake the vamps on sight anymore! Not sure if that was a comics thing.
rebcake
Nov. 2nd, 2016 05:14 am (UTC)
I think Buffy would be a tad intimidated, but also sort of impressed. I know I am!

In the comics, Buffy isn't thrilled about not staking vampires, but there has been a lot of PR and organizing done on behalf of the vamps, and they're a "constituency" in a way they weren't on the show. She has to attend board meetings with them and stuff like that. Joy. Now that I write this, I find it even more hilarious...
slaymesoftly
Nov. 2nd, 2016 07:04 pm (UTC)
Loved it!!!! Spike and eyeliner.... yes, please.
rebcake
Nov. 3rd, 2016 12:03 am (UTC)
Yes, indeedy!

Glad you liked it!
shapinglight
Nov. 16th, 2016 04:44 pm (UTC)
Aww, I'm really sorry Buffy had to slay the drag-vamp. What a great character.
rebcake
Nov. 17th, 2016 05:40 am (UTC)
I was sorry, too. But she wasn't going to come around, alas.

Thanks for commenting!
double_dutchess
Dec. 28th, 2016 12:42 am (UTC)
wearing a shirt with just enough buttons undone to make her want to undo all the rest

Mmmm... Plus, he knows how to give great compliments!
rebcake
Dec. 28th, 2016 08:29 pm (UTC)
He does, doesn't he? And Buffy has learned how to accept them gracefully, so they're in a good place!

Thanks for commenting!
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

sb_fag_ends
The Spike/Buffy Shorty Challenge Community

Latest Month

February 2017
S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728    

Stickers

Copy and paste the text into a comment to show your appreciation!

This is Smokin'... - Buffy holds her hands to the flames in OMWF.


this is smokin' xx - Buffy and Spike's hands set alight in Chosen.


THIS IS SMOKIN' - Spike dressed as Randy Giles in Tabula Rasa, looking singed.

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Teresa Jones