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Smashed Again, Gone Again

Title Smashed Again, Gone Again
Author brutti ma buoni
Rating PG
Words 300
Setting season 6
Warnings angsty/dark, murder, imprisonment and possibly more, though the words are vanilla enough
Prompt i thought she was her
and she is
but sometimes she forgets




When she came back, she was wrong. Of course she was. You die, you rot, you're resurrected. You're not what you were.

It's a long time before everyone accepts that she is wrong. He watches their denial. Slowly, the witches accept her pollution. Slowly, the humans fall away. They can't see what is wrong, the way Willow and the non-demon witch girl can, but her absences become too much. They can't bear with her any longer.

She dreams she doesn't exist, that none of them are real. That they try to keep her from the real world.

That she should kill them to be free.

The first time she dreams it, she nearly kills them all. There are black-yellow bruises on soft flesh, and footprints tread bloody into Joyce Summers' carpets, imprinting the wrong on the fabric of domesticity. The second time, he hurts her to stop her, and glories, briefly, that he can. But he knows it shows how wrong she is. And by then, the wrongness is becoming apparent to all.

He takes her away from them when she tries to smother Dawn one night. Willow says it's a dream she had, before she died. And now it's part of her reality, where Dawn is not.

Spike isn't part of her new reality. But, for some entangled reason he can't begin to fathom, she doesn't try to kill him. It's perhaps the worst of all, that she spares him now.

After all that has gone before, nobody tries to stop him from taking her. Nobody rescues her, the princess in the tower. No Rapunzel she.

He keeps her under the ground, where they wouldn't let her stay when her time was done. No softness here. No time, no space, no meaning. Just Spike, watching her.

He doesn't call her Slayer any more. That's not who she is.

He doesn't call her Buffy either.

But he won’t let her go.

Comments

( 36 comments — Leave a comment )
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baphrosia
Sep. 9th, 2013 07:41 pm (UTC)
*shivers*

I like this. Very, very possible.
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 9th, 2013 08:03 pm (UTC)
Oof, it freaked me out a bit! Glad you like it, though.
hello_spikey
Sep. 9th, 2013 07:57 pm (UTC)
ooooh myyyyy that is dark dark dark! *claps*
Magnificently done.
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 9th, 2013 08:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!
waddiwasiwitch
Sep. 9th, 2013 08:05 pm (UTC)
Ow this hurt. So well done.
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 9th, 2013 08:33 pm (UTC)
*g* Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
red_satin_doll
Sep. 9th, 2013 08:15 pm (UTC)
"Buffy came back REALLY wrong" fics occupy a special place in my heart because 1) it's so plausible and 2) the ones I've read are almost without exception excellent - this is no exception. and of course 3) teh angst! it's where I live!

The poetic quality here is wonderfully done - I'd call this story a prose poem.

Nobody rescues her, the princess in the tower. No Rapunzel she.

Oh Buffy *sobs a little* The gossamer princess cast down from her tower and thrown into the dirt.

No softness here. No time, no space, no meaning. Just Spike, watching her.

He doesn't call her Slayer any more. That's not who she is.

He doesn't call her Buffy either.

But he won’t let her go.


*SOBS* This entire ending, just - gah. I am verklempt. She is not buffy, not slayer, who is she then? And who is he, if his existence depends upon hers?

brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 9th, 2013 08:39 pm (UTC)
I can't decide, honestly, whether he lets her out. Whether the suffocation is mostly in his mind because he, or whether he really is imprisoning her. Whether she's alive, whether she's turned. How mad Spike is by now. All of that is up in the air for me. And I'm delighted you got a lot out of this little fic too!
(no subject) - red_satin_doll - Sep. 9th, 2013 09:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
rahirah
Sep. 9th, 2013 08:32 pm (UTC)
Brrrr!
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 9th, 2013 08:36 pm (UTC)
Mmm. Innit.
quinara
Sep. 9th, 2013 08:59 pm (UTC)
Ooooooooooooooooooooh!

PS. Saul Williams is fab and you get so many points for being the first one to use his prompt!
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 9th, 2013 09:08 pm (UTC)
It's a fab prompt. I got stuck on the Heaney being in Heaney-voice, but this one really worked for me.
(no subject) - quinara - Sep. 9th, 2013 09:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - brutti_ma_buoni - Sep. 11th, 2013 07:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
velvetwhip
Sep. 9th, 2013 09:05 pm (UTC)
*faints*

Wow. This is powerful stuff.

Brutal and powerful!


Gabrielle
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 9th, 2013 09:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! Glad it worked for you.
(no subject) - velvetwhip - Sep. 9th, 2013 09:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
slaymesoftly
Sep. 9th, 2013 09:37 pm (UTC)
Ouch.... I believe this might be more awful than what Joss came up with. Kudos... or something. :)
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 11th, 2013 07:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Pretty rough all round, I fear.
singedbylife
Sep. 9th, 2013 11:41 pm (UTC)
Oh wow, this is really sad. And of course he wouldn't let her go. Poor Spike (and Buffy).
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 11th, 2013 07:46 pm (UTC)
Definitely poor both of them. Thanks for reading!
zanthinegirl
Sep. 10th, 2013 03:36 am (UTC)
Gah! That's just... Gah! ::shivers::
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 11th, 2013 07:46 pm (UTC)
Mmmph. Innit, a bit. But mission accomplished, writerly-speaking.
shapinglight
Sep. 10th, 2013 09:47 am (UTC)
Oh, that was amazing. And very much a poem itself.
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 11th, 2013 08:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. Amazing prompt, too.
ever_neutral
Sep. 10th, 2013 11:47 am (UTC)
OH YES, I LIKE THIS.
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 11th, 2013 08:26 pm (UTC)
I can't imagine why it might suit your tastes. :P Thanks!
kikimay
Sep. 10th, 2013 11:56 am (UTC)
So powerful. Once again an amazing fic. The ending killed me with feels.
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 11th, 2013 08:33 pm (UTC)
Awww, thank you so much!
timeofchange
Sep. 10th, 2013 10:17 pm (UTC)
Oh god. Chilling but so real. Love this.
brutti_ma_buoni
Sep. 11th, 2013 08:43 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much!
comlodge
Sep. 12th, 2013 10:12 am (UTC)
oh god. I'd write something more but I'm broken by the unutterable sadness of it.

Well done!
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( 36 comments — Leave a comment )

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