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Divine Inspiration

Here's the third part of my Ten Years Gone story, a sequel to
Coming Up in the World and Subject to Change.

As you can possibly tell, this story is getting away from me a little bit here on sb_fag_ends because of the posting restrictions. I'll find some way to bring it to a sort of conclusion in the next part and then continue it (if I decide to continue it, and I am having fun with it at the moment) on sb_ashtray.

In this part, Buffy is possibly not quite as mad as Cave!Buffy in my icon. But it's close.

Setting: Immediately after previous part
Rating: Still PG.
For the Prompt: Becoming your parents.
1000 words.



It wasn’t just space that was weird inside the Walsingham. Time didn’t work right either.

Buffy couldn’t explain otherwise why the seconds stretched out, like an overstressed piece of elastic, while she stared down at Spike with her mouth open, and he stayed on his knees looking up at her.

When he finally spoke again, she could swear she heard the ping of that elastic snapping back into place. Lucky for her it didn’t take her eye out.

“Is it the ring?” Spike asked. “If you don’t like it, we’ll get a better one.”

“Ring?” She gazed at him blankly. Oh, ri-ight. Ring.

She hadn’t even noticed the little box in his hand, in which, nestled in its velvet bed, was the biggest diamond she’d ever seen.

Which, actually, wasn’t saying much. Diamonds weren’t really on her radar.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, she was furious. King of the vampires or not – and what did that even mean?-how dare he!

She sprang to her feet, knocking over her glass, and sending $1000 champagne spraying everywhere.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

He got to his feet more slowly, still with the blank, bland expression on his face, so unlike the Spike she remembered, though just as annoying.

“So,” he said, “is that a ‘no’, or an ‘I’ll think about it’?”

She clenched her fists, to stop herself punching him in the nose.

“Neither. It’s a ‘have you taken leave of your senses?’”

She narrowed her eyes. “I came to you in good faith, and you’re making fun of me. What is this, Spike? Revenge? So I didn’t come running when I heard you were alive, but I was busy, and you were a jerk for not calling.”

She glared. “And even more of one for going evil again. How could you?”

At this, his eyes widened fractionally– at last, a reaction! –but his expression didn’t change otherwise.

“I’m not making fun of you, Slayer,” he said, in a reasonable tone. “I mean it. We should get married. In fact, it’s very important we do.”

She stared at him, completely at a loss. Stymied by his blank face, his matter-of-fact voice and weird new way of talking, like a wall she couldn’t breach.

Part of her wanted to reach out, grab him by the shoulders and shake some Spike-i-ness back into him. The other part noted sadly that she didn’t have the right.

Too much time had gone by.

After a moment, he bent down and righted the toppled champagne glass.

“Permit me to explain myself.”

Stop talking like that! she thought, but all she said was, “Okay. You’re permitted.” And she flopped back down into the couch, feeling bruised and angry and raw.

He sat down more slowly, as far from her as he could get, which gave her some satisfaction. Maybe just how mad she was had gotten through to him.

“It’s like this,” he said. “Angel and me...“

She cut in at once. “Angel’s alive?”

Again, the eyes widened, but all he said was, "Of course. He sends his regards."

It was hard to listen after that, with two certainties of her life for the last ten years - Angel dead, Spike gone bad-turned upside down. But somehow, she managed.

"You're not the only one aware of this prophecy," he was saying. "We know about it too. In fact, if you hadn't called me, I would've called you."

"That's nice," she heard herself say, without meaning it, thinking that maybe he wasn't quite so blank-faced now? She must be making him nervous.

And who was this 'we'? All vampires, or just him and Angel?

He cleared his throat -yes, definitely nervous. Good.

"But we don't interpret it quite the same as you. Angel thinks it means not so much that all humans join with all vampires, just that one vampire join with one human. So I thought we should just get married. Can't be more joined than that, can you?"

When she stared at him blankly, he said, suddenly sounding far more like his old self, "Rupert's slipping in his old age. You should ask him to do his translation again, Slayer."

She glared. “You leave Giles out of this!”

He shrugged. “Sorry. But Sumerian’s tricky. Giles should know that. Maybe get the Niblet on it instead? She was always a whiz with that stuff.”

She glared harder. “Dawn isn’t available.”

“Still,” he said, and when she just kept glaring, “There’s an apocalypse coming. You said so yourself. This is important.”

“O-oh, no!” She wagged her finger at him. “You don’t get to lecture me on what’s important, Mr-High-and-mighty-king-of-the-vampires, I came to you, remember?”

He just blinked. “More champagne?”

“You….”

She threw up her hands. “Why the hell not?”

A few sips of the best champagne ever later, she felt calm enough to say, “So let me get this straight. You’re proposing to me because you–and Angel, apparently-think us getting married will avert this apocalypse?”

“In a nutshell,” he agreed, all bland suavity again.

“Why you? Why not Angel? I mean, he’s a vampire too. I could just as well marry him.”

“Not really,” he said –so not the reaction she’d expected. “He’d be breaking his vows, wouldn’t he?”

“Vows?”

“Of celibacy,” he continued, in a patient tone. “He’s a monk now. Didn’t I say?”

Her jaw dropped. “A….what now?”

“A monk,” he repeated. “Well, actually, more like Father Abbot. Still has to be the one giving the orders.”

“Says the king.”

Don’t even try and process Angel the monk right now, brain, okay?.

She glared at him again. “I knew the new you reminded me of someone. All this big picture thinking? This ‘I’m the boss of everyone’ attitude? You’re turning into Angel, aren’t you?”

To her astonishment, he just sort of smirked.

“We all turn into our parents as we get older, don’t we? For instance, you look a lot more like your mum now.”

This time, she did punch him in the nose.

TBC with one of the final week's prompts.

Comments

( 47 comments — Leave a comment )
singedbylife
Jul. 18th, 2013 03:25 pm (UTC)
HA Ha ha - oh this was so much fun to read. And interesting! Poor Buffy! (And it is very rare indeed that I utter these two words in the same sentence.)

I love it and I'm intrigued!
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:26 am (UTC)
Thank you! :)

I think Buffy's more annoyed than intrigued just now.
sueworld2003
Jul. 18th, 2013 03:52 pm (UTC)
“We all turn into our parents as we get older, don’t we? For instance, you look a lot more like your mum now.”

Fantastic!! And don't get me started on 'Angel the Monk' line. :D

This is such an enjoyable read.
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:26 am (UTC)
Thanks, Sue. :)
spikes_heart
Jul. 18th, 2013 04:24 pm (UTC)
This is just delightful. And it's always got to be the nose... even ten years on. Poor Spike. Sometimes it's not good to be the king. *grins*
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:27 am (UTC)
And it's always got to be the nose... even ten years on.

Yeah, unfortunately for it, it's always first in the firing line. ;)
gillo
Jul. 18th, 2013 05:06 pm (UTC)
I love it! Though shouldn't he be turning into Dru?
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:28 am (UTC)
Well, if Buffy were actually correct...
rahirah
Jul. 18th, 2013 06:14 pm (UTC)
Boy, Spike sure knows how to romance 'em. *g*
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:28 am (UTC)
I think he's out of practice. ;)
kikimay
Jul. 18th, 2013 06:22 pm (UTC)
Spike, what did you just say? XD Hilarious and very interesting and original. I want to see Angel monk, please! Wanna see!
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:30 am (UTC)
I want to see Angel monk, please! Wanna see!

Aww, poor Angel! He took holy orders on purpose to escape from all the attention.
red_satin_doll
Jul. 18th, 2013 06:53 pm (UTC)
Pissed off Buffy - yay! And about time, too.

This wouldn't happen to be poking fun (just a bit) at the "Buffy saves the world with her vagina" trope, is it?

“We all turn into our parents as we get older, don’t we? For instance, you look a lot more like your mum now.”

This time, she did punch him in the nose.


Yeah, that was pretty much inevitable, wasn't it? And the second to last thing you should say to any woman after "Have you gained weight?" For all his suave...still a bit of a dumbass.
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:31 am (UTC)
This wouldn't happen to be poking fun (just a bit) at the "Buffy saves the world with her vagina" trope, is it?

I'd never actually heard of that trope, so not deliberately, no.

For all his suave...still a bit of a dumbass..

Yep. Some things never change. ;)
red_satin_doll
Jul. 25th, 2013 12:59 pm (UTC)
You've never come across a story where Giles informs Buffy that the only way to stop an impending Apocalypse is to have intercourse with either Angel or Spike? (Esp Spike, with early seasons Buffy which can get - rather gross, actually. The very idea is pretty gross, so you are far better off for not having read one. The sad thing is that's not the grossest thing I've come across in fanfic.)

I hadn't heard of it until I read a story someone posted that satirized the trope: Buffy and Spike have to stop an apocalypse by...staying up all night in a cave talking to one another. Just talking. 'twas cute. (I'll let you know if I find the link.)

shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 03:00 pm (UTC)
I think I might have read that one. Not sure. Was it one of hello_spikey's? But the trope? No, I've never come across it. I don't actually read much Spuffy fic.
red_satin_doll
Jul. 25th, 2013 04:13 pm (UTC)
I don't remember but I kind of think it was another author. I could be wrong.

There's a few tropes apparently that were more popular ten years ago, I guess, (?) that I'm hoping have died a painful death.

I don't actually read much Spuffy fic.

Heh. I've kind of backed off myself unless it's an author I know and trust to be a good writer.
waddiwasiwitch
Jul. 18th, 2013 08:39 pm (UTC)
Oh you!! This just gets better and better. Angel the monk. Spike turning into Angel.

The only thing that seems normal is Buffy punching him on the nose.

Can't wait to see where this will go. You've made my day you know. :)
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:32 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. Very glad you're enjoying it. :)
slaymesoftly
Jul. 18th, 2013 08:55 pm (UTC)
LOL Yep, can't blame her. He really did use up all her patience then, didn't he? This is still great fun, though, so I hope you keep going with it.
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:35 am (UTC)
Glad you're still enjoying it. I hope to keep going with it. We'll see.
brutti_ma_buoni
Jul. 18th, 2013 10:07 pm (UTC)
This is wonderful! I love where the prompt fits, but also the wider story - Spike's mad proposal makes kind of sense, and Angel always did like the cloistered life. Kind of. Pray do continue!
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:56 am (UTC)
I will do my best, and thank you. ;)
chasingdemons
Jul. 18th, 2013 10:55 pm (UTC)
I might have guessed there would be no answers just yet. So I'm sticking to my Spike-bot theory! Other than that, I'm bewildered - in a good way! This is lot's of fun!
red_satin_doll
Jul. 19th, 2013 10:30 pm (UTC)
So I'm sticking to my Spike-bot theory!

Either that or "bespelled/drugged" will do for me.
chasingdemons
Jul. 19th, 2013 11:12 pm (UTC)
Oh! Body-switch!!
red_satin_doll
Jul. 20th, 2013 12:13 am (UTC)
*slaps forehead* Why didn't I think of that? that's totally canonical. (Spike swapping bodies with - OMG, not Andrew?)
chasingdemons
Jul. 20th, 2013 04:07 am (UTC)
So often in shapinglight's stories when Spike is in trouble, Angel is somehow at the bottom of it. So I'm thinking Angel got jealous when Spike was made king, so he swapped bodies. Now he's using Spike's body to go after Buffy. Makes total sense.
red_satin_doll
Jul. 20th, 2013 06:02 pm (UTC)
Hmmm....oh now the line about Angel's celibacy is even funnier if that's the case. (I'm still holding out on the idea of Andrew, based on his behavior. Angel would know Spike's personality better, I should think. This dude is not convincing as either Spike or Angel.

OTOH, Andrew would never propose to Buffy, so - I'm probably backing the wrong horse *lol*)
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:57 am (UTC)
:)

Glad you think so, love.
rebcake
Jul. 19th, 2013 08:24 am (UTC)
Well, I am definitely on board with Angel taking a vow of celibacy! Safest all around, I think. ;-)

“So,” he said, “is that a ‘no’, or an ‘I’ll think about it’?”

Ahahahaha! Still sounds like Spike to me.

“Permit me to explain myself.”

Stop talking like that! she thought, but all she said was, “Okay. You’re permitted.”


Well, yes. That is way too Giles-y for anybody's comfort. Tap your little foot until he comes clean, Buffy. Possibly across his backside.

Very intriguing, m'dear!
red_satin_doll
Jul. 20th, 2013 06:05 pm (UTC)
I am definitely on board with Angel taking a vow of celibacy! Safest all around, I think. ;-)

*LMAO* I have no idea if Liam was Catholic or Protestant, but I'm surprised he didn't think of that sooner. (Hair shirts, self-flagellation and mortification? Hell, the priesthood sounds right up his alley.)

is way too Giles-y for anybody's comfort. Tap your little foot until he comes clean, Buffy. Possibly across his backside.

*see icon*
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:58 am (UTC)
Well, I am definitely on board with Angel taking a vow of celibacy! Safest all around, I think. ;-)

Poor old Angel, but yeah, I have to agree. ;)
missus_grace
Jul. 19th, 2013 09:16 am (UTC)
I love how Buffy is working overtime to get some kind of reaction from Spike. He's a little too Stepford vamp in this story for me to be comfortable. Can't wait to see how it unfolds.
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:59 am (UTC)
The mystery may be dragged out a little longer, but I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.
zanthinegirl
Jul. 19th, 2013 04:28 pm (UTC)
Oh, this is really turning into a fun 'verse! I'd wondered where you were taking it after the last chapter, but I should have know to trust you!

“A monk,” he repeated. “Well, actually, more like Father Abbot. Still has to be the one giving the orders.”
“Says the king.”


Hee! And glad to see there'll be more coming!

shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:59 am (UTC)
:)

Thank you. Glad you're enjoying it.
quinara
Jul. 21st, 2013 01:52 pm (UTC)
Sorry I seem to have forgotten to leave a comment on this - it's hilarious!
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 10:00 am (UTC)
:)

Glad you think so, love.
comlodge
Jul. 21st, 2013 07:46 pm (UTC)
Oh this is so much fun. And Angel a monk- lol!
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 10:00 am (UTC)
Yeah, have to say, I think it's a role he's cut out for.
rihannon52
Jul. 22nd, 2013 03:11 pm (UTC)
This is so funny, but with sudden pang-producing moments. And deliciously intriguing. :)
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 10:01 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. :)
treadingthedark
Jul. 23rd, 2013 05:19 am (UTC)
Ah ha ha! Brilliant!
shapinglight
Jul. 25th, 2013 10:01 am (UTC)
Thanks. Glad you like it. :)
hello_spikey
Jul. 25th, 2013 09:47 pm (UTC)
LOLS!!

So many lols. Oh dear.. oh oh... Angel as a monk? YES. snerk. *clap clap clap*

*wipes a tear away*

Bravo. Bravo, darling. You've pulled me away from some very important procrastinating I was doing.

*mwah*
shapinglight
Jul. 26th, 2013 10:04 am (UTC)
:Bows:
( 47 comments — Leave a comment )

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