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I'm not even going to pretend that this makes sense. But we've all had our chance with the chickens. Why not let Spike and Buffy have a go at detection? Very slight plot spoilers for those who haven't completed yet.


Title A Slightly Mad Mad Mad World
Author Brutti ma buoni
Pairing/Characters Spike/Buffy
Rating PG13
Words 540
Prompt Reservoir Chickens plot – and also my AU: cop/detective trope bingo
Setting Reservoir Chickens world AU. Probably all human, if that matters.


"C'mon, Killer, time to go to work."

Buffy Summers rolled her eyes. "Told you before, Spike, you can call me Slayer. If you have to. Or we could just get on with the job." She hated working with Spike. What kind of cop dressed like that? Bleached like that? Wore jewellery like that? Seriously?

"Haven't told you what the job is," Spike said, holding the file folder out of her reach. "Could be juicy, could be career-making stuff. Could get us out of Sunnydale and into the big leagues." His voice told her that, in fact, it would do none of those things.

"Okay. What's the job?"

"Some chickens stole the Easter Bunny," said Spike, poker faced.

Dammit. Sometimes, Buffy hated working the Sunnydale beat.

They weren't actually chickens. Stupid gang names. Might've been easier if they had been birds, actually. There was a fortune teller, some tweedy old guy, and a really, really loud punk that Spike took to in a way that made Buffy roll her eyes again (kind of an occupational hazard, working with Spike – someday, she'd pull a muscle and end up on workers' comp). Also, a truly, truly confused woman who claimed to be French. They seemed to say such contradictory stuff, not incriminating anyone, not giving anything away.

"What the hell?" Buffy sighed, twelve long hours after starting. "Can we pick this up tomorrow? Maybe get some fresh perspective. I still think we started off the wrong way."

Spike cricked his neck, rolled his shoulders. "Yeah, maybe. We off the clock, then?" He grabbed his car keys, started for the door.

"Yup," Buffy reached for her purse. "You driving?"

He scoffed at her. He always drove. Like she always rolled her eyes and critiqued his hair. It's how they worked together. And it worked.

The Summers-Pratt household was not anyone else's business. Mostly, people didn't even know they were married, though they never lied about it. It was just better, keeping home and work apart. Different dynamics. Like being two different people. Work was work, with bitching about their incompatibilities. Home was home, with snuggles and shopping for groceries and being partners for real.

(Yeah, it was weird. Buffy had given up explaining it to their circle. Over-analysis is nobody's friend.)

Just occasionally, one aspect of life spilled into another. Usually a bad thing. This once, though inconveniently timed, it was probably useful that Buffy sat bolt upright, straddled across Spike's belly in the afterglow of lazy late night sex. "Hey, did you see that guy's eyes?"

"What guy? Come back down here, Buffy." Spike clearly didn't want to leave Home Mode.

"That first contact. The one that kept saying, 'Prompt me.' He was shifty. We should go back to him. Maybe he set us wrong from the start."

Spike yawned prodigiously, tugged her back down. "Yeah, okay. We'll go back to Mr Prompt Chicken first thing. Look him right in the eye and see what he has to say. We'll find the Easter Bunny, love, don't you worry."

He paused. "Buffy?"

She snuffled into his shoulder, the moment of Work Brain all gone now. "Mmmph?"

"You ever think we live very odd lives?"

"Yessss," she mumbled. "'Zat matter?"

"Nah. Not at all."

***

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
velvetwhip
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:14 pm (UTC)
That is a hoot!


Gabrielle
brutti_ma_buoni
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
quinara
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:20 pm (UTC)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

/Prosecco

Generally, I would love this AU for life, plz?
brutti_ma_buoni
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:22 pm (UTC)
Heh. I've been looking at the cop AU prompt with no enthusiasm at all till now. But I love the idea of Spike and Buffy as grumpy partners who secretly looooove each other.

Prosecco? Nom.

*eats more night nurse*
quinara
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:24 pm (UTC)
But of course! The loooooooove is necessary.

(Also :( I should probably be on the Night Nurse too, I feel I should say, but I'm very poor at medicating. Decided to punish my throat and sinuses with booze? I hope you feel better soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
brutti_ma_buoni
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:35 pm (UTC)
Sadly prosecco (with healthful blackcurrant additions) was yesterday and I felt like hell today, so... good luck?
quinara
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:43 pm (UTC)
Shhh... My brother O is on it too?
slaymesoftly
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:22 pm (UTC)
LOL One of the few AH that reads like read Spike and Buffy. Clever and fun.
brutti_ma_buoni
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:34 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
rahirah
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:59 pm (UTC)
LOL!!!!
brutti_ma_buoni
Mar. 29th, 2013 10:08 pm (UTC)
*g* Too long at home alone, sneezing. It breeds weird ficlets.
kikimay
Mar. 29th, 2013 10:29 pm (UTC)
OMG superfunny! You genius!
brutti_ma_buoni
Mar. 30th, 2013 09:47 am (UTC)
D'aww, thanks!
readerjane
Mar. 30th, 2013 04:38 am (UTC)
Awwww. And heee!
brutti_ma_buoni
Mar. 30th, 2013 09:48 am (UTC)
*g* Got to have some silliness at times.
ayinhara
Mar. 30th, 2013 10:14 pm (UTC)
Lots of fun! It would make a cute tv show.
gingerwall
Apr. 3rd, 2013 02:10 am (UTC)
In the words of Jayne Cobb, "hi-lar-ious."
shapinglight
Apr. 3rd, 2013 02:32 pm (UTC)
Hee!
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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