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Fic: Who're You Calling Two-Dimensional?


Title: Who're You Calling Two-Dimensional?
Creator: annapurna_2
Rating: G
Setting: Post-series
Word count: 999
Prompt: Who're You Calling Two-Dimensional?
A/N: For this story, the events in the Buffy comics never happened. After the end of AtS, things went a little differently.





“This is your fault!”

Spike sighed, reaching out a hand. “Buffy…love…just let me—”

She jerked away, shutting him up with a nasty glare. “Don’t. Even. Think it. I mean it. It’s your fault we’re stuck here, and as soon as we get out, you are so dead. I’m not kidding!”

“Didn’t think you were, pet. All the same, first order of business is to figure a way out.”

Buffy opened her mouth, not done with threatening, but a strange skittering sound stopped her. Her gaze shifted sideways, trying desperately to spot the source, but whatever it was remained out of view. She listened intently then realized her mouth was still unattractively agape. Her jaw snapped shut with an audible click.

“Spike, what was that?”

“Dunno. Can’t see anything. If I could just bloody turn around. You?”

The skittering noise sounded again, louder and considerably closer than before.

“Nothing. But I think it’s coming from behind us. Spike…”

“I know, love. We’re bloody sitting ducks here.”

“You think?” Shaking herself out of sarcasm mode, she took a deep breath, listening as hard as she could as her hand reached for Mr. Pointy. Beside her, she could hear Spike shifting into game face. “Okay…we have to concentrate. There was a way in here, so there’s got to be a way out. Obviously, repeating it doesn’t work. What about saying it backwards?”

More skittering. Almost on top of them now.

“Worth a try. Let me think. Okay…‘Way that faster be. After we’re beastie the find to book the into jump just we can’t why? Research bugger!”

Buffy held her breath, but nothing happened. The skittering sound was in her ear now. Whatever made it brushed against the back of her leg.

Something snapped, and it wasn’t the unseen creature.

“That’s it! I’m the Slayer! You got that? I am not gonna die because my stupid boyfriend wished us into the pages of a stupid demon encyclopedia! Let us out of here…now!

With a faint sucking sound, Buffy found herself sitting at the dining room table, exactly where she’d been when they were somehow magicked into the book. Spike sat across from her, the offending tome resting in his hands.

With a loud oath, he slammed it shut and heaved it across the room. It struck the wall then dropped to the floor, falling open again.

“Geez, you guys!” Dawn appeared in the kitchen doorway. “If you’re fighting, can you take it outside? You just made me spill flour all over the floor. Now I have to call Xander and have him pick up some more on his way home.”

Buffy shot a sideways glance at Spike, but this time she could actually turn her head.

“Sorry. No fight. Just a teeny disagreement. All good now.”

“Yeah? You’re not the one with the mess to clean up.” Snorting, Dawn shook her head and vanished into the kitchen. Buffy could hear her muttering as she mopped up the flour.

Turning, Buffy found Spike eying her warily while at the same time trying to look contrite.

“I’m still mad at you,” she informed him.

“Figured. Would it help if I say I’m sorry?”

“You know better than to make wishes…or something that can be misinterpreted as a wish…around anything old or demony. It’s dangerous!

“Yeah. Think I got that.” He looked over at the book that had so recently been their prison. “Think Rupert knows?”

“Of course not! He wouldn’t have loaned it to us without mentioning something like that.” She frowned, biting her lip. “What do you think we should do with it?”

“Burn it?”

Tempted, Buffy considered the option but reluctantly rejected it. “Better not. You know how Giles gets about his books. Maybe we can stash it somewhere until he gets back, so it can’t hurt anyone. It’ll only be a couple more weeks.”

“Any ideas where?”

“Maybe a nice, quiet out-of-the-way crypt? They’ve usually got all kinds of hiding places.” Buffy moved to the book, gingerly picking it up. She held it as if it might explode. Without taking her eyes off of it, she raised her voice. “Dawn! We’re going on patrol to take another look around for that…whatchamacallit we can’t identify. Don’t wait up!”

“Okay.” Dawn’s voice was faint, her tone preoccupied. “Good luck.”

Buffy realized Spike was staring at her again. This time, there was a gleam in his eyes that she hadn’t seen in a long time.

“What?” she asked with more than a little suspicion.

“You,” he answered simply.

She moved to the closet and grabbed a canvas tote bag, dropping the book into it, then moved back to Spike. “What about me?” she challenged.

His head tilted. “You called me your boyfriend.”

“What?” She gaped at him. “Did not! I—“ A memory niggled at her and she broke off. “Oh.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“I also called you stupid,” she pointed out.

Spike nodded. “You did. Reckon I deserved it. Still doesn’t change the fact.” He was clearly amused, but there was also something slightly vulnerable in his smile.

After a few seconds, the smile faded.

“Don’t fret, Buffy. Won’t hold you to it.”

“Spike…”

He waved it away. “I know. It’s complicated. Funny thing is, I like complicated. Never had much use for two-dimensional.”

Smiling again, he glanced down at the book, one edge just peeking out of her tote. “Though, I have to say, pet…on you it looks good.”

Buffy glared until Spike shrugged and turned to leave. The moment his back was to her, the glare faded and a small, satisfied smile took its place. As he reached the door, she called out.

“Spike…”

He stopped, looking back.

“You can hold me to it.”

With a firm grip on her bag and a slight bounce in her step, Buffy pushed past him and out into the night, knowing that as soon as Spike got over his surprise he’d be right there beside her.

Sometimes, two-dimensional was a good thing.




Comments

( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
rebcake
Oct. 28th, 2012 06:39 am (UTC)
See, guys? It's really very simple!

Lovely interlude, stupid wishing and all!
annapurna_2
Oct. 28th, 2012 07:15 am (UTC)
Hee! Thank you!
zanthinegirl
Oct. 28th, 2012 08:26 am (UTC)
That's just adorable! And I highly aprove of a post-AtS world that involves Giles. And Dawn & Xander. And a Buffy who knows her own mind!

Always good to see a story from you, glad you felt inspired!
annapurna_2
Oct. 28th, 2012 11:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :-)

And I highly aprove of a post-AtS world that involves Giles. And Dawn & Xander. And a Buffy who knows her own mind!

Gotta keep the old gang together! Willow's there, too, just couldn't work her in. Heh.
spuffy_luvr
Oct. 28th, 2012 08:52 am (UTC)
I also called you stupid.

Cute!
annapurna_2
Oct. 28th, 2012 11:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :-)
quinara
Oct. 28th, 2012 08:58 am (UTC)
Hooray! That was great. And I loved Dawn's (off-screen) cameo!
annapurna_2
Oct. 28th, 2012 11:18 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much!

I love the Spike/Buffy and Dawnie dynamic. Gotta work her in any chance I get. Heh.
kikimay
Oct. 28th, 2012 10:19 am (UTC)
Aaawwwh! Why can't you write the comics? They would be adorable together! >*
annapurna_2
Oct. 28th, 2012 11:23 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Ha! I would LOVE to write the comics. For that matter, I would love it if ANY of us could write the comics. Then I might actually enjoy them. ;-)

Thanks again!
red_satin_doll
Nov. 9th, 2012 05:22 pm (UTC)
Comics? What comics? They do not exist in my world. This sort of fanfic hits my happy place. (I have a kink for good post-series fics that explore the complexities of their relationship.)

And Dawnie! Being her somewhat bitchy and adorable self, yay! The Summers girls are really a lot alike, aren't they? (And neither one seems to take much after Joyce, do they?) I love that the relationships still exist, even if they've evolved and changed, I guess because that matches my Buffyverse worldview.

I really wasn't expecting the sudden shift in tone, and yet it worked beautifully - I actually had to go back and figure out when she had said "boyfriend" because it seemed so offhand. Of course he would notice it, though, but not make a big deal about it at first. That works for me. And of course she would say "I also called you stupid." That's my girl.

caliente_uk
Oct. 28th, 2012 10:34 am (UTC)
Aww, just perfect. Loved it! :D
annapurna_2
Oct. 28th, 2012 11:24 pm (UTC)
Yay! Thank you, sweetie! ::bounces::
jerzeyanjel
Oct. 28th, 2012 03:28 pm (UTC)
Haha Spike wishing them into a demon encyclopedia. Great story! Nice to see Buffy admitting things for once! =)
annapurna_2
Oct. 28th, 2012 11:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Very, very pleased you like. :-)
brutti_ma_buoni
Oct. 28th, 2012 09:03 pm (UTC)
Hee! Really liked this fun piece.
annapurna_2
Oct. 28th, 2012 11:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you! So glad!
thisficklemob
Oct. 28th, 2012 10:12 pm (UTC)
Hee. I like the backwards sentence, amazed he could remember and regenerate it.
annapurna_2
Oct. 28th, 2012 11:36 pm (UTC)
Well, you know, Spike is a vampire of many talents--hidden and otherwise. Heh. ;-)
shapinglight
Oct. 30th, 2012 02:19 pm (UTC)
Yay! That was great. I want to know what the skittering thing was, though.
waddiwasiwitch
Oct. 31st, 2012 01:18 am (UTC)
Oh this was adorable.
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )

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