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'Ragnarok and Roll' by Quinara (PG-13)

So, this prompt came out the way it was always doomed to - with a Final Fantasy VIII crossover! There is literally no need to have ever played Final Fantasy VIII, because Spike never has either.

Rating: PG-13 just for Spike swearing a lot.
Setting: AtS Season 5, but a bit AU, plus FFVIII disk three, as you might have guessed from the title.
Word Count: 1000, Word promises me.

Bored with his Xbox, Spike buys a second hand Playstation on the cheap. Unfortunately, it's cursed, and whatever magic it is that sucks him into Final Fantasy VIII thinks Buffy should come along for the ride...

Ragnarok and Roll.

“Why won’t you bloody die!

Not for the first time, Spike stabbed the giant orange squid-dragon-demon, growling as the metal cut through flesh.

One of the few merits of this predicament was the number of handy weapons they’d found lying around. This particular sword was pretty effective. But of course, the moment Fanta Claws stopped wriggling, there was an unearthly, groaning cry from the next room…

“Oh, well done,” Buffy snarked behind him, unfeelingly. You’ve woken Barney up again now.”

Burning with resentment, he tossed a glare over his shoulder. “You reckon I should’ve just let this one take my head off, then?” He didn’t bother wiping his sword – it would be wet again soon enough, most likely with Barney, one of the purple demons on board – but, since Spike still had feelings for the stupid cow standing behind him (not that she gave a shit), he kept the ichor's stench away from them. Though, really, “I don’t know why I bother…”

Stood at the side of the room, Buffy banged her fist on the metal wall. “We have to kill them in pairs, Spike, so they don't regenerate!” Someone was frustrated. That made two of them. “You saw what happened with the green ones – and we don’t even know where the other orange one is!”

To think, this morning he’d been minding his own business in LA, drinking his beer and having a play on the second-hand console he’d picked up for cheap… It was just his luck the Playstation had turned out to be cursed, sucking him into some alternate dimension the moment he’d loaded the abandoned saved game. And now here he was – on a spaceship. With Buffy, who it turned out, oh yes, knew quite well he was alive, but wasn’t happy to see him.

“Look,” Spike tried to reason with her, though his jaw stayed clenched and his breath came out in snorts. “I didn’t mean to drag you here. How about we try and get through this like the mature superbeings we are, and then you can go back to fucking some toyboy on a beach, or whatever it is you do these days.”

For a moment Buffy was speechless. Her mouth opened in shock and, just for that moment, the muscles around her eyes seemed to soften with pain. His heart clenched with the need to apologise –

– but then, before Spike could get the words past his throat, they were interrupted.

“Um, hi! Excuse me?” They both turned towards the voice. It came from a perky-looking girl in her late teens, wearing not very much blue and black and holding a nastly-looking shuriken in her hand. There was a pouting emo kid standing by her side. He had on an equally inappropriate eighties bomber jacket with a shag fur collar. “Are you lost too?” the girl asked.

It was that moment Spike realised he’d been sucked into a JRPG.

Working with the other two, Rinoa and Squall, it didn’t take long for them to kick the space demons into touch. Perhaps unsurprisingly for computer game characters, the teenagers weren’t bad in a fight, though Squall spent the whole time glowering and getting on Spike’s nerves. It had got worse after Rinoa had giggled the apparently fateful words, “Oh my god, you’re so much like Seifer…” Whatever that meant.

The four of them had managed to get in radio contact with Ground Control after killing all the demons, so for now the good ship Ragnarok (of all auspicious names) was steadily making its way back to whatever planet it had come from. The teens seemed to be having a moment, and there were only two seats in the cockpit, so Spike and Buffy left them to it.

“What is it?” Spike asked after they managed to get the door shut behind them. The gravity had gone off, of course, ‘to reserve fuel’. (He was hoping physics here would be as broken as it usually was in these games, and they could have a nice, easy landing.)

“Nothing,” Buffy replied to his question, holding onto the wall. There was still a smirk on her face, though, and a sparkle in her eyes. “I guess it’s just… They’re cute. They remind me of how I thought Angel and I were, back when I was sixteen and basically convinced he was too.”

“Great,” Spike muttered, trying to turn away without looking like a bobbing idiot. He should never have asked. “Riveting.” The mouldy old ship was fairly romantic, he supposed, with its impossibly big picture windows of the cosmos. He should have realised Buffy would find it a bitch to share something like that with him.

God,” Buffy snapped, harsh lines redrawing themselves across her face. “Will you make up your mind?”

Now that caught him off guard. “About what?” he demanded, a little defensively.

“Do you still care about me or not?” his love demanded stiffly, crushing the elaborate handle of the nunchaku in her hand. “Because I’m waiting for an apology here, and all I get is more proof you’d rather I never darken your door again.”

He clenched his jaw, embarrassed. Because – right, maybe he had forgotten, what with landing on a spaceship and immediately fighting for his life with a strange green demon. Still, he had a backbone these days. A mission. He wasn’t going to lay his heart on the line for nothing. “Think it’s more to the point how you feel about me,” he said, sticking to his guns.

“Just say it,” Buffy demanded, spitting the words past her teeth. Nostalgia gone from her expression, she jerked her head to the cockpit and the romantic backing track they could practically hear soaring through the door. “I don’t want to wait until the end of this stupid adventure to sort this stuff out. This time, I want things said up front.”

And so, in a strange fit of pique, Spike apologised. The world didn’t actually end – yet he was rewarded nonetheless.



( 39 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 27th, 2012 10:24 pm (UTC)
Fanta Claws! Ho ho ho.
Oct. 27th, 2012 10:26 pm (UTC)
Sometimes I'm witty.
(no subject) - bogwitch - Oct. 27th, 2012 10:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quinara - Oct. 27th, 2012 10:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bogwitch - Oct. 27th, 2012 10:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quinara - Oct. 27th, 2012 10:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bogwitch - Oct. 27th, 2012 10:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quinara - Oct. 27th, 2012 10:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bogwitch - Oct. 27th, 2012 10:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bogwitch - Oct. 27th, 2012 10:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quinara - Oct. 27th, 2012 10:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bogwitch - Oct. 27th, 2012 10:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quinara - Oct. 27th, 2012 10:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bogwitch - Oct. 27th, 2012 11:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quinara - Oct. 27th, 2012 11:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bogwitch - Oct. 27th, 2012 11:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quinara - Oct. 27th, 2012 11:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 27th, 2012 11:01 pm (UTC)
Heh. Well, this is cute, and also satisfying. Glad Buffy has learned some important lessons about getting the Feelings Talk in before the big fight.
Oct. 27th, 2012 11:04 pm (UTC)
Oct. 28th, 2012 05:09 am (UTC)
Snicker - as if they'd ever be mature superbeings. Still, getting the words out before the end of the world is a good start! I always knew Playstations were evil.
Oct. 28th, 2012 08:27 am (UTC)
:O Playstations aren't evil! Warlocks who curse them are... ;)

But thank you! I do think maturity is a bit beyond them - but they try!
Oct. 28th, 2012 06:33 am (UTC)
Heh. Good for Buffy, who has learned to prioritize! Fight when you have to, but make the downtime count, too!

You are the 2nd person in a week to use the expression "into touch" )kick the space demons into touch) and I'm having trouble parsing it. I assume it's something terribly British and clever. Help a provincial girl out?

Oct. 28th, 2012 08:35 am (UTC)
Yes! Especially since after this point in the game things get quite hectic (I've worked out how they get out again, but they have to beat the big boss first).

'kick something into touch' just means to sort out/to stop something being a problem. It's apparently a football metaphor for when you kick a ball past the touchline (the boundary lines on the side of the pitch) to get it out of play - I've never associated the two before, but it's certainly a standard manoeuvre if the team you're against is making good speed up the pitch, because it gives your team time to get back into position defensively. You tend to use the phrase if you've got a problem that's annoying you, and you want rid of it.
Oct. 28th, 2012 06:55 am (UTC)
But of course, the moment Fanta Claws stopped wriggling, there was an unearthly, groaning cry from the next room…

Don't you just hate it when that happens? Hee!

See? Even evil Playstation games know Spike and Buffy are meant to be together.

Uber fun! Loved it!
Oct. 28th, 2012 08:36 am (UTC)
Thanks very much!! Cursed Playstations are definitely on Spuffy's side, though I think the main aim of the curse was to kill them (koff, still not quite sure why Buffy got dragged along, but that will work itself out in time). Glad you had fun!
Oct. 28th, 2012 08:29 am (UTC)
I'd love this for the title alone, but you managed a fun story as well!
Oct. 28th, 2012 08:37 am (UTC)
Cheers! There are a few other prompts that I love, but this one entertained me the most, I think. I probably should have done something with Norse gods...
(no subject) - kikimay - Oct. 28th, 2012 09:55 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quinara - Oct. 28th, 2012 11:15 am (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 28th, 2012 09:53 am (UTC)
Evil playstation games and Spuffy goodness, well done!
Oct. 28th, 2012 11:15 am (UTC)
Thank you!
Oct. 28th, 2012 10:19 pm (UTC)

They remind me of how I thought Angel and I were, back when I was sixteen and basically convinced he was too.”

Interesting concept. I can see that. I mean, no, Angel wasn't a teenager, he didn't go to high school... but other than the apartment, he also didn't seem terribly adult while Buffy was dating him. He didn't have a job or anything. I can see it being easy to pretend.
Oct. 30th, 2012 07:11 pm (UTC)
Thanks! And I think Buffy did understand that Angel was a lot older than her, technically; I'm just not sure she'd worked out what being an adult meant (before the end of S2, maybe) apart from being a teenager without anyone telling you what to do. Also, I just remember that scene where Willow goes on about how long Angel's been dating/how can he not have time for a cup of coffee... I don't think the show really treated him as much more than a teenager either, to start with!
Oct. 29th, 2012 05:10 pm (UTC)
hee! Awww... so good to see them sort that out nice and quick, once the monsters are defeated and the ending cut scene is playing. :)
Oct. 30th, 2012 07:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Though that's only the cutscene of this (small) episode they're watching there; they've still got a while to go, not least as all of time and space collapses...
Oct. 30th, 2012 02:15 pm (UTC)
Yay! You write a much better version of Spike in spa-ace than the comics.
Oct. 30th, 2012 07:07 pm (UTC)
Oct. 31st, 2012 01:11 am (UTC)
oh hee this was great.
Nov. 1st, 2012 07:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :)
( 39 comments — Leave a comment )


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