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Leave That Lamp Alone (Spike/Buffy. PG)

Title Leave That Lamp Alone
Author Brutti ma buoni
Rating PG
Setting post-Chosen, in a Spuffy-friendly world
Words 265
Prompt Aladdin – let's rub that lamp, kids!



The genie hovered, provocatively. Spike couldn't quite believe it was real, nor what it was offering.

Three wishes. The old classic.

What do you wish for, Spike?

Long life and happiness? Pretty much guaranteed to any vampire already, so long as he stayed away from the Slayer and her buddies. So, not top of Spike's agenda, really.

Besides, he'd signed away simple happiness the day he asked for his soul.

So, of course he should wish for Buffy, eternally his.

No. He wanted her all right, but by her own choice, not some magical whammy. And he had her, right now, freely. Foolish woman thought he was the best thing in her life, most days, and assuming he didn't do something too idiotically violent too often. Not going to give that joy up in favour of enforced togetherness at the behest of a bloke in a string bikini and fifteen yards of gauze.

He didn't trust magic. Not at all. Wishes were worse.

So in the end, Spike looked back at the old lamp he probably shouldn't have rubbed, and wished for:
1) A couple of bottles of Jack. (Never hurt.)
2) Directions to the demon lair he'd been hunting when the whole rub-an-old-oil-lamp-for-a-laugh thing went up in his face
3) For the genie to go back into his lamp and never come out again.

That wiped the smile off the guy's moustachioed face.

Spike went off to slay the demons and go home to his love. Free and clear of magic, and two bottles of bourbon to the good.

He'd had worse days at the office.

Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
thisficklemob
Dec. 17th, 2011 10:54 pm (UTC)
Good Spike!

I actually feel kind of bad for the genie, though.
brutti_ma_buoni
Dec. 18th, 2011 09:32 pm (UTC)
Just doing his job... Poor guy.
louise39
Dec. 17th, 2011 11:14 pm (UTC)
Love the third wish. Spike is always ready to mess with a demon. Even if its only a demon-y genie!

Fun.
brutti_ma_buoni
Dec. 18th, 2011 09:32 pm (UTC)
You can do a lot of damage with wishes - it's the responsible thing to do!
quinara
Dec. 18th, 2011 12:19 am (UTC)
Ha! Excellent. I like it when potential problems turn into anticlimaxes just by sheer competence and forethought. :D
brutti_ma_buoni
Dec. 18th, 2011 09:32 pm (UTC)
*g* Mmmm, yummy forethought.
readerjane
Dec. 18th, 2011 12:31 am (UTC)
Hee! Good thinking, Spike! Love how clear he was about what he wanted.
brutti_ma_buoni
Dec. 18th, 2011 09:32 pm (UTC)
*g* Glad you enjoyed it!
adriana_is
Dec. 18th, 2011 01:42 am (UTC)
Loved it.
brutti_ma_buoni
Dec. 18th, 2011 09:32 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
slaymesoftly
Dec. 18th, 2011 01:51 am (UTC)
ROFLMAO Leave it to Spike to outfox the 3-wishes trap so many fall into. Nicely done!
mushroomgal
Dec. 18th, 2011 03:14 am (UTC)
LOL! Loved this. Made me think of the "Je souhaite" episode of the X-Files... "be specific."
brutti_ma_buoni
Dec. 18th, 2011 09:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Specific is good - as is well-planned.
brutti_ma_buoni
Dec. 18th, 2011 09:33 pm (UTC)
Heh. He's not so dumb. And also has wish-experience...
rahirah
Dec. 18th, 2011 06:14 am (UTC)
Smart guy, that Spike. :D
brutti_ma_buoni
Dec. 18th, 2011 09:33 pm (UTC)
He has his moments!
relurker
Dec. 18th, 2011 08:22 am (UTC)
Terrific!
Not only competent and straightforward, but in his dealing with the genie there's a definite touch of honest evilness.
brutti_ma_buoni
Dec. 18th, 2011 09:34 pm (UTC)
Thanks! He definitely enjoys that third wish, I agree.
penny_lane_42
Dec. 18th, 2011 03:13 pm (UTC)
This is so perfectly Spike!
brutti_ma_buoni
Dec. 18th, 2011 09:34 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thank you.
shapinglight
Dec. 18th, 2011 08:25 pm (UTC)
Hee! Though I do feel a bit bad for the genie.
brutti_ma_buoni
Dec. 18th, 2011 09:34 pm (UTC)
Weeelll, wishes are dangerous, aren't they? It's the responsible thing to do. *nods*
raynejelly
Dec. 18th, 2011 10:04 pm (UTC)
That is adorable! And... really quite perfect.

What a wonderful view of Spike, doing the responsible thing instead of wishing for fifty million dollars and a yacht [is that just me? that might be just me...]

This was also wonderful - just a tight, perfect slice of the Spike voice. "Foolish woman thought he was the best thing in her life, most days, and assuming he didn't do something too idiotically violent too often."

[This is my first Spuffy Fic. I quite like it]
moscow_watcher
Dec. 18th, 2011 10:10 pm (UTC)
Spike is evil! :)))

(No, seriously, wonderful ficlet!)
kerry_220
Dec. 19th, 2011 07:35 am (UTC)
....at the behest of a bloke in a string bikini and fifteen yards of gauze.

Hearts you

anviloverheaven
Dec. 19th, 2011 01:10 pm (UTC)
Very sensible wishes :) Especially the third!
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )

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