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Title: The Neighs Have It
Prompt: Pantomime Horse
Setting: post-series
Wordcount: 389
Disclaimer: still not mine, alas

"Come on, Xander!" Dawn hated when her voice came out whiny. Surely she'd left the kid sister role behind her?

"Not even for you, Dawn. I thought the play was going to be on Thursday. This is different."

His attempt at firm reason was undercut by the ridiculous picture he made: oversized furry pants hanging from suspenders with a long tail attached to the seat.

"They had to change it because of a scheduling conflict. This is Alex's school play. Why won't you do it?"

"Because Friday is Halloween. Ever since Ethan Rayne got whacky with the mojo, I only wear cool costumes on Halloween. Firefighter, James Bond, soldier, Batman."

"Nothing's gonna happen," Dawn reasoned. "Spike's not scared of a costume."

The vampire in question watched them argue, a sour expression on his face. He wore a matching pair of horse legs without the tail. A huge costume head was tucked under his arm, its flannel tongue lolling like a demented gargoyle.

"And that's another thing. How did you rope Dead Boy into this?" Xander turned an accusing finger on Spike. "I thought you had more pride."

Spike shrugged. "Buffy asked."

"There's no way I'm risking getting magically stuck as his hind end."

"I'll make you mac and cheese," Dawn cajoled.

"Not even close."

"I'll owe you big time."

"Nope."

"You can be the head?"

Xander hesitated. The odds were small that the same spell would hit him twice in a lifetime. It was like getting struck by lightning, right?

"Wait a minute," he said, turning to Spike. "There's no way you agreed to this just for the asking. What are you getting out of this?"

Spike's grin could have made a parson blush. "It'll be worth my while."

Dawn clapped her hands over her ears. "Stop talking! That's too much information right there."

Spike sauntered over to Xander. You wouldn't think a guy wearing brown velour waders, his hair all mussed from a costume hat, could look menacing. "This play's going to happen because Buffy wants it. So that leaves you one question, Harris. Heads or tails?"

Xander considered his options. On the whole, he'd rather be a horse's ass than walk around with Spike trailing him.

He sighed. "Tails."

Comments

( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
fangfaceandrea
Dec. 9th, 2011 06:22 pm (UTC)
XD. This was amusing... Just the Idea of Spike in that outfit! Funny
readerjane
Dec. 9th, 2011 06:28 pm (UTC)
Thanks! *G*
zanthinegirl
Dec. 9th, 2011 06:23 pm (UTC)
Hee!

"This play's going to happen because Buffy wants it. So that leaves you one question, Harris. Heads or tails?"

Very cute!
readerjane
Dec. 9th, 2011 06:28 pm (UTC)
:-D
thisficklemob
Dec. 9th, 2011 06:25 pm (UTC)
Hahahahahahhaha! Perfect.

"There's no way you agreed to this just for the asking. What are you getting out of this?"

Spike's grin could have made a parson blush. "It'll be worth my while."


I thought that was kind of implicit in the, "Buffy asked," answer, myself.
readerjane
Dec. 9th, 2011 06:29 pm (UTC)
(I thought that was kind of implicit in the, "Buffy asked," answer, myself.)

Xander was a little slow on the uptake. *G*

Thanks for commenting!
quinara
Dec. 9th, 2011 06:26 pm (UTC)
*snorfle* I love how Spike's just standing there, smug in the knowledge that this'll all be over soon and the bribery will be worth it. Poor old Xander...
readerjane
Dec. 9th, 2011 06:29 pm (UTC)
Xander's so put upon...

Thanks for reading!
hello_spikey
Dec. 9th, 2011 07:04 pm (UTC)
Hee!

Well, Xander does get to look at Spike's butt all night. :)
readerjane
Dec. 9th, 2011 07:07 pm (UTC)
That would certainly be an incentive for me...

Thanks for reading! *G*
moscow_watcher
Dec. 9th, 2011 07:35 pm (UTC)
Hee! I can imagine them in a horse costume! :)))
readerjane
Dec. 9th, 2011 10:00 pm (UTC)
Our guys will do almost anything for the Summers girls. :-D
slaymesoftly
Dec. 9th, 2011 09:48 pm (UTC)
ROFLMAO Loved it.
readerjane
Dec. 9th, 2011 09:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

sparrow2000
Dec. 10th, 2011 05:50 pm (UTC)
Love it - Dawn can wind these two around her little finger.
readerjane
Dec. 11th, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)
...and she takes full advantage. *g*

Thanks for commenting!
amycooper
Dec. 11th, 2011 12:52 am (UTC)
lmao!!!
readerjane
Dec. 11th, 2011 03:35 am (UTC)
Oo, didn't know you were here!

Thanks for reading. Glad it made you laugh.
amycooper
Dec. 11th, 2011 03:38 am (UTC)
I'm not! Where am I? I followed a link for good fic and found myself here!
readerjane
Dec. 11th, 2011 03:44 am (UTC)
LOL. Maybe it's a flu dream.

I love this com, especially during Spuffy advent-calendar time.
anviloverheaven
Dec. 12th, 2011 10:37 am (UTC)
:) I think I might be evil because I almost want Ethan Rayne to be sitting in the audience!!
readerjane
Dec. 12th, 2011 12:27 pm (UTC)
LOL! That would certainly up the stakes...
shapinglight
Dec. 12th, 2011 02:32 pm (UTC)
:snorfle:

Very amusing, and good choice, Xander, I think.
readerjane
Dec. 12th, 2011 04:31 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thank you.
kikimay
May. 2nd, 2012 01:58 pm (UTC)
Poor boys! Dawn and Buffy are terrible!
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )

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